Does NOT Come From a Bottle

I am a natural blond. I do not color my hair in any way shape or form. Not because I'm some kind of naturalist hippy or lack vanity. I'm broke. I have two in daycare, one in high school and a husband who has been out of a job for over a year. I would LOVE to spend a day getting my hair done, manicure, pedicure, massage. AAHHH I used to do those things. Now I go to the Hair Cuttery, which I've grown fond of by the way, and spend $15 on a cut. I'm OK with that. To get a massage I have to lay on the floor and hope one of the kids will pounce on me. Mani/Pedi? Forget about it. I would rather spend my money on the kids anyway. I enjoy seeing them get tickled over new outfits or some trinket from the dollar store.

Well, the time has come for Joey to come home for a couple days before actually being shipped off for a year. So it falls on me to make his travel arrangements. Easy enough assignment. This I can handle. So I hit the Internet looking for deals. FYI...what I finally spent on tickets is no deal in my book. Man do the airlines know how to stick it to ya. Now with this fee and that fee? That's a whole 'nother rant for a whole 'nother posting. I need to keep focused on the topic at hand.

First our search starts with a google on "Airline tickets". OK. Search results finally settled on a number so stinking big I shut my browser, turned off my computer, curled up under the computer desk, in a fetal position. How are you supposed to choose a reputable establishment from all this? So, I default to looking at company names I see on TV. When I get overwhelmed with this kind of thing, I just pick something that sounds familiar. I do not have the patience to shop. My wardrobe is testament to that. So, Expedia wins. I need to give them a shameless plug here. It was easy breezy booking a flight with them. For a round trip ticket I was first offered several departure times, then they offered arrival times. They didn't lump them together like a couple of other sites I went to. Also, it saved me from going to each and every airline website and doing the same search repeatedly.

I started stressing out about his departure time from Texas and his arrival time to Florida. He can't leave too late in the day from Texas because the Army is dropping the guys off according to the earliest flight out, which is about 6am. That would put them arriving at the airport before 5am. No matter what time their booked flights leave, all soldiers get to the airport at the same time. Also, (I know this from experience) no matter what time soldiers get to the airport, they head straight to the bar. Yes, you can get a beer, at the airport at OH Dark Thirty.

Here is where the blond moments begins. I can't book his departure from Texas too early because that would make his arrival in Florida too early. I have to coordinate picking him up from the airport with what time I get off work. I don't have the leave time to be take off work on his arrival day ... so I'm trying to make sure he gets to Florida later in the afternoon so I don't need to take any time off from work. It is a delicate balance so neither one of us is inconvenienced. So my friend at work got sucked into my drama and was offering advice. You would think she would catch on not to pop into my office when she can hear the high-speed clicking of the keyboard.

Between the two of us we decide the best plan was to book him an early flight out of Texas and park his car at the airport overnight. I could FedEx his keys to him with a map to his truck. It would be like a mini Pirate Treasure Hunt with a vehicle at the end!! Problem solved right? I was so excited that travel plans were made, tickets bought, he had transportation from the airport. Yeah. We have Monday the 31st off from work....it's a flippin Federal Holiday.

1st Weekend

This past week went well. We stuck to our routine and was pretty uneventful. The girls and I were able to speak to Joey. It was a very much needed connection. However, Jenna wasn't happy her turn was over and cried, cried, cried.

The Hub is looking forward to his four day break in a few weeks. If all goes as planned, Justin will be finished with his Eagle Project and we can have his Eagle Rank Ceremony while Joey is home. Justin was 8.5 when I started dating Joe, and the rank ceremony just wouldn't be the same without him.

I was looking forward to the weekend going as smoothly as the week did. Yeah...that didn't happen. My Aunt turned 60 and my cousin threw her a surprise birthday party.

It was the best fun we've had in a while. Cake decorating is a hobby of mine so I agreed to a cake for 100 people. It was a Hawaiian themed party and I finally settled on a volcano cake.


This is my latest creation complete with a smoking effect:



Yes folks...this is what a Chocolate Fudge smoking volcano looks like. It was a huge hit and I make a connection with a distant relative who does cake too. She is where I want to be in the cake decorating business. I'm ready to level up and learn some new stuff. I have exceeded the Wilton basic cake decorating and am ready to learn more.

The girls were off the chain this weekend. Loud, fast and unentertainable. It's not all their fault. I was consumed with getting the cake done and was not dispensing the mommmy love they were seeking. I thank goodness the party was on Sunday. I needed the entire day on Saturday to do what needed doing. I was up to my elbows making buttercream and fondant. My mom did the best she could to keep up with them, but she has limited mobility right now. She is still recovering from hip replacement surgery and is staying with me to recoup. However, I would have been completely lost without her this weekend. Mom is skilled at running interference and making PPJ's.

By the time Sunday dinner rolled around, the seams that keep me sane came unraveled. I was exhausted and my back hurt really bad. The noise level in the house had hit an all time high. Jordan was wanting to streak in the worse way, Jenna was wrestling the couch, chocolate milk was spilled and the table cloth wound up crumpled up under the table. I needed to get them fed so I could get them in bed. I had kids going in so many directions we needed a traffic cop. I did catch a small break by not having to cook dinner. There was so much food at the party we were made to bring home leftovers. YAY!! Left overs from a party rank right up there with being invited to dinner. I love love love meals I do not have to prepare.

Jordan, due to playing at the table, knocked her plate on the floor. Meatballs, green beans and mac n cheese everywhere. As I helped her out of her chair, to lift her over the mess, I lost my balance and dropped her. She landed right square on the corner of the door frame. She cried cried cried. She now has a goose egg on the side of her head. I gave her Tylenol to help with the headache she is surely going to have in the AM.

That was after Jenna rammed her head on the corner of the entertainment center. She likes to wrestle my furniture. I don't know why she does that. So my poor little girls look like they were in a bar brawl. They have skinned knees from falling in the drive way. They do not walk any where. It's full throttle run everywhere they go. I am thankful that I have a daycare provider that takes all this in stride. When I take them to her on Monday Morning, they get a once over, she smiles and says, "Busy weekend?" I don't know too many moms that pick up their kids on Friday in pristine condition and return them on Monday looking like they were the title prize fighters in a match over the weekend. I just know if I had the girls in a commercial day care, I would get the authorities called on me in the AM.

Bed time came early, the house breathed a sigh of relief, as it does every night at bed time.

And Yeeeerrrrr Outta Here!!!!!!

Before I get started on my current tribulation, I have a cutie update. The girls dispense the cute faster then I can remember to write this stuff down. If batteries weren't so expensive I could keep a tape recorder going non stop.

My 3 year old, on the way home from gymnastics, informed me that her butt hurt. So, in an effort to keep her busy while we were trapped in the truck for the commute home, I asked a series of questions.

Jordan: My butt hurts!
Me: Why?
Jordan: It hurts.
Me: Did you fall on it?
Jordan: No.
Me: Does it itch?
Jordan: No.
Me: Did someone smack it?
Jordan: No.
Me: OK....I'm sorry. I'll take a look when we get home.
Jordan: Mom?
Me: Yes?
Jordan: Watching Dora will make my butt feel better.

Yup...that's my little master manipulator. Turns out, Dora is a cure for just about everything from Boo Boo's to Boredom.

This weekend was spent delivering my most special package to the Army. The road trip itself was uneventful. We reached our destination and checked into the hotel the Army recommended. This did not go well.

I am a picky traveler. One of my biggest issues is with hotels. They creep me out. I am way more particular then I need to be about stuff. I own that. However, when you check into a hotel and open the door to your assigned room, it should NOT smell like a wet dog that has bad foot odor, smoking a cigarette. Call me crazy, that's just how I feel about it. Every time one of those news journalism shows comes on TV, exposing hotels, Joey takes command of the remote and refuses to let me watch it. So, in an effort to keep my chin up, and not be difficult, we unloaded the truck. I wanted Joeys last few hours with us to be positive and upbeat. I really did.

An hour and a tantrum later, we pack the truck and move out. The longer I was in this room, the more I felt I needed a tetanus shot. Aside from the offensive odor, the furniture was caked with filth, I couldn't make myself get near the bed. It was like when you try to get the two positive sides of magnets to get near each other. It just wasn't happening. The property itself was in disrepair, cobwebs and exposed structure beams everywhere. The locals for a $5 fee can use the pool, which isn't an issue if they would leave their dogs home.

I raised such a ruckus in the hotel lobby, they did not give me any grief about leaving. (Joey sat in the truck) Quite frankly, I think they were glad to see me go. Sometimes being loud and abrasive has its' advantages. Folks like me do not take being told NO too lightly. Luckily, we found accommodations just right up the road at a national chain for the same room rate. I was in HEAVEN when we opened the door and lemony freshness filled my being.

I think my four year old is a Xerox Copy of me. During our stay over the weekend, the nasty place was in our path of travel to and from the Army Unit my husband is assigned to. My 4 year old would point it out every single time we passed it and comment on it. Poor Joey, he is now blessed with two of us to contend with!

Once we were settled in our new hotel , the rest of the weekend went very well. While Joey was at the unit doing Army stuff, the girls and I were left to our own devices. It was nice spending the day with them. We walked to the water and watched fish. We walked up and down docks and looked at boats. We walked up the roadside to look at the woods and streams. It was really nice! Jenna called it an adventure.

On Sunday it was time to go. After the Deployment Ceremony, we ate lunch, then took Joey to his room the Army put him up in. Yes, it was at the nasty place. However, this room was in way better shape then our original room. No matter, this place will always be equivalent to Joe's Apartment (it's a movie HILARIOUS). I delayed our leaving until the girls got a good final visit and a little rough housing. I needed them to be really tired for the ride home so they would sleep. Mission accomplished. No tears upon departure. Just snoozing all the way home.

The only real issue I had with the girls is when we got home. Jenna busted out a crying fit when she realized her Daddy was not there. It was like it hit her all at once. So I sat with her and cuddled for about 20 minutes, door wide open and the 3 year old darting back and forth in the room. Jenna was fine after that. She keeps confirming that Daddy is at the Army and the Army needs him.

We will be OK!!!